//character quote generator
//compiled by xiveira/renae

quotes = new Array();
quotes[0] = "The bandage dress with the lace is a bit weird, I mean you've got all this tight skin fitting stuff that makes me understand why some men are straight but then there's this lace thing shoved on top and it's all a bit 'grandma's negligee'.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[1] = "I love bandage dresses as much as the next flaming but it's like there are two separate dresses fighting it out for supremacy and no one is winning.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[2] = "I like this one, too.<br>It'd make my boobs look good.<br><b>-Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[3] = "It was like someone had supersized a barbie ball gown and then vomited every single debutante ball from the early nineties on it.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[4] = "Everyone will know where we are when they get here. Just follow the trail of pure awesome that follows us wherever we go.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[5] = "Just start grabbing clothing and then I'll let you know if I would be seen in public with you whilst you're wearing it.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[6] = "Holy Hell. And I thought Robitussin tasted bad.<br><b>-Beverly Dess</b>";

quotes[7] = "So. We haven't even spoken and you're already falling at my feet. Hello, Rachel Berry.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[8] = "There's no booze in it! Because that would be <i>illegal</i>.<br><b>-Matt Rutherford</b>";

quotes[9] = "They did good in sectionals, but let's face it. Deaf kids and hoochie mommas are not the best competitors.<br><b>-Marcus Solderini</b>";

quotes[10] = "You look good, Shell. Not trying to distract Schuester, are you?<br><b>-Caiden Maddox</b>";

quotes[11] = "I'd love to see a guy of the post-pubescent, heterosexual persuasion sing that song in its original key. That would be entertainment for the masses.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[12] = "Relax. I'm the Justin Timberlake of fashion; I'm always right and don't make any cheap shortcuts.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[13] = "I'd be willing to contribute my Saturn to the fleet. It holds, like, five. Seven if anybody feels like riding in the trunk.<br><b>- Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[14] = "Well, if Schuester is distracted, I wouldn't complain. He <i>is</i> in the process of divorcing his wife. If we got desperate...<br><b>-Shelby Corcoran</b>";

quotes[15] = "He's the one who brought out the insults before we really had much more to say than 'hey, good job, have some baked goods'.<br><b>-Hannah Alcott</b>";

quotes[16] = "It is very possible that we are the only sober people in this building.<br><b>-Hannah Alcott</b>";

quotes[17] = "Oh hey, Mister Schue, it's great to see you, too. You ready for some stomach turning, gory action?<br><b>-Artie Abrams</b>";

quotes[18] = "You invited Mr. Schue? I can’t hang out with a teacher on the weekend.<br><b>-Noah Puckerman</b>";

quotes[19] = "I'm sure the likes of Rachel will vote against me, so I'll just rule myself out right now of taking part in this potential disaster.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[20] = "Thank you, Shell. You're a lifesaver. I think you just might be Jesus, only prettier.<br><b>-Caiden Maddox</b>";

quotes[21] = "Oh, God. I'd know that grammar (or lack thereof) anywhere. I do believe we've met!<br><b>-Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[22] = "I can handle myself, thank you very much. Ask anyone who's tried to get between me and a solo.<br><b>-Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[23] = "What, we don't have heart?<br>Ouch, Mr. Glee Club Director.<br>Ouch.<br><b>-Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[24] = "So um, explain to me why we don't get to hurt anybody?<br><b>-Elaina Rodriguez</b>";

quotes[25] = "Really, some of you kids are the reasons I have nightmares.<br><b>-Caiden Maddox</b>";

quotes[26] = "You need to back the hell off, 'cause this ain't okay.<br><b>-Mercedes Jones</b>";

quotes[27] = "Whoa, Mercedes.<br>Rewind, mute. Thank you.<br><b>-Brooklyn Carrigan</b>";

quotes[28] = "I just like tin foil, okay?<br><b>-Jet Summers</b>";

quotes[29] = "Is this like when we tell all of the kids that they are special? Who exactly is winning anything? Except Vocal Adrenaline and Regionals.<br><b>-Shelby Corcoran</b>";

quotes[30] = "You're my best friend, so if I'm being stupid, tell me and I'll begin backpedaling immediately.<br><b>-Caiden Maddox</b>";

quotes[31] = "I don't see why you haven't got dozens of women queuing up for you, you chiselled hunk.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[32] = "I was dancing earlier, and I think I busted my hip or something. I'll leave it to you young people for now.<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[33] = "We got all the time in the world for girls, but you know, bros before hos and all that.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[34] = "Get dancin' sometime tonight, grandpa, have a bit of fun- or did they not do prom back in the day?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[35] = "Fine, body casts it is. I mean, I could pull off any look- with the body cast comes the sob story about how I tried to save a granny from getting mugged, only to end up getting battered myself. Tragically heroic, I think.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[36] = "It's war now, Miller.<br>Somehow I don't think you can beat the king of swoon, the Don Juan, the Mr. Darcy, the Giacomo Casanova- no, not Mr. Maddox- <i>me</i>.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[37] = "Fawning over Miss Corcoran. Boy, he is whipped.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[38] = "You might have to seek out some milfs, my friend- and when you find 'em, give 'em my number.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[39] = "I don't know what you mean. I had a little accident with some water is all. Your dress couldn't have cost too much.<br><b>-Santana Lopez</b>";

quotes[40] = "You really don't have any shame, do you?<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[41] = "Hey, Mrs. Baker! Anyone ever told you how fine you look in a dress? Who knew you were hiding such big buns, eh?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[42] = "I might as well just go around asking 'hey, was anybody here alive when the Great Pyramids were built? 'Cause I need some bonus points!' and see how many chicks answer that.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[43] = "Smooth, St James, real smooth. You don't lose points, but you do go down a little in my estimation. No accounting for taste, I suppose.<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[44] = "I have to say, as far as worst dressed goes, Miffy Dubois definitely takes the cake. Nothing says 'high fashion' like bulk buy hot pink tulle.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[45] = "Do you sing? Eh, it doesn't matter. It might be better if you don't sing. Brooklyn will eat you if you steal her solos.<br><b>-Casey Harrison</b>";

quotes[46] = "Straight guys have much more reason to join Vocal Adrenaline than gay guys do. I mean, the quick changes between performances and all the inappropriate touching while dancing, certainly beats out showering with other guys. ...Maybe I should start up sport.<br><b>-Zach Bourke</b>";

quotes[47] = "Before I got made fine arts administrator I was way off his radar, but the minute he got a look at this fine looking visage my time was numbered.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[48] = "Was your wife actively hiding product from you before you so tragically split up? Your hair is a fire hazard, I should report it to the fire marshals. I guess Eleanor likes the stuck-on look.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[49] = "What are you doing here, Santana? At this table, I mean. Shouldn't you be in the bathroom with your date?<br><b>-Quinn Fabray</b>";

quotes[50] = "Don't you miss guys like that, drooling all over us? That Cheerios uniform worked wonders, didn't it... but I wouldn't get too hung up on it. I'm sure you'll more or less get your figure back, eventually.<br><b>-Santana Lopez</b>";

quotes[51] = "So nice of you to give Quinn one last night of fun... but why don't we have just one dance. You've probably been stuck doing slow dances all night.<br><b>-Santana Lopez</b>";

quotes[52] = "Oh, but she what? She batted her small-town eyelashes at you and you decided 'Screw VA, I'm gettin' me some of that?'<br><b>-Jack Scott</b>";

quotes[53] = "Please tell me why it really looks like you're about to punch his face in?<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[54] = "What about when Little Miss Broadway gets her claws into you properly - when she comes up to you again later tonight after you've finished drinking the punch bowl you're on and asks you a little question in between shaking her assets in your face?<br><b>-Jack Scott</b>";

quotes[55] = "I'm not afraid that you're going to give up your heart to her or that she'll reduce you to a smitten wreck. I'm concerned that you're going to whisper sweet nothings, serenade her with our hard worked out set list just to get in her pants.<br><b>-Jack Scott</b>";

quotes[56] = "If you're so worried about keeping your throat lubricated, stick to water. The last thing we need is you drunkenly slurring all of Vocal Adrenaline's business to McKinley's answer to Barbra Streisand.<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[57] = "I'm diluting it. See, this is like squash- once you dilute it, it's kinda harmless.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[58] = "Wait- check if there's any turd left in that toilet basin 'cause I swear, I will call the cops if you dunk my head in somebody else's-<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[59] = "God doesn't injure the dumb or the drunk, so I'd say you're fine.<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[60] = "You're a good guy, Bobby, you don't need to murder me to prove a point!<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[61] = "I might be shameless, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna invade the President of the Carmel's Spelling Bee Buzzers' personal space.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[62] = "It's like a woman going into labour, expecting twins and popping out a rat instead.<br>That's freaky stuff, dude.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[63] = "Does foundation contain calories? Because I kissed her and I swallowed so much that if it is possible to put on weight via make-up, I'm going obese overnight.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[64] = "Go get 'em, tiger. Go work your bad-boy James Dean eyes.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[65] = "The fleet is in ship-shape, but if you keep up with the sugar, you won't be. I'm not cleaning up after you, if you puke.<br><b>-Shelby Corcoran</b>";

quotes[66] = "While I'm sure the West Side Story reference was a ball to reinact, you're an idiot, and Streisand is probably madly in love with that freakishly tall guy who can't dance anyway.<br><b>-Hannah Alcott</b>";

quotes[67] = "Go wipe your booger on your dress or something, isn't that what all those hideous frills are for?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[68] = "Quinn...<br>Did you just...pee yourself?<br><b>-Noah Puckerman</b>";

quotes[69] = "Don't be sorry, I thought I'd managed to kill you with a swirly!<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[70] = "Never. Unless that was some veiled way of saying 'Hey, old man, get lost. Now that you've taught me some awesome moves, I'ma try them out on a hot young thing.'<br><b>-Jack Scott</b>";

quotes[71] = "Hell, I think I might just go straight for the full monty next time without all the unnecessary 'I'll kiss you on the lips nonsense'. Pah, romantics...<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[72] = "Next you'll be telling us to stay at least three feet away from our dancing partner, in case slow dances lead on to doin' the dirty.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[73] = "I only asked her to dance and she looked at me like I just told her I slept with her mom. And I'm like, eighty percent sure I didn't.<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[74] = "Look, we get that you have some random misguided crush on Mrs Baker, but <i>come on</i>. Worst comes to worst, proposition her in the Food Tech room one day, and call me when she mails you back your balls.<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[75] = "We're in Vocal Adrenaline, you know. We're both excellent dancers. My friend here's a little young, but he'll mature with age. Like wine. Or cheese.<br><b>-Levi Miller</b>";

quotes[76] = "Good God, somebody must have peed in this because that is not a beverage, it's poison!<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[77] = "Quite possibly the most boring song selection since the Ohio church choir committee produced an underwater version of Cats. Want to know what that was like? Ask my fish.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[78] = "Whoa, wait, hold the phone. What in the name of Ozzy Osbourne is Coach Sylvester doing here?<br><b>-Tina Cohen-Chang</b>";

quotes[79] = "There is no cheese in cheetos... I'm fairly sure the flavoring's ground bones or something.<br><b>-Jack Scott</b>";

quotes[80] = "I'm sorry there's no grass or celery sticks or whatever healthy food you eat. My stomach doesn't digest anything that's got less than fifty grams of fat in it.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[81] = "Jeez, this is such a disappointment- you buy a packet of Cheetos for the cheesiness and what d'you get? Cheesiness that's not even made out of cheese, but quite possibly something like cow intestine? What kind of bodged-up, illegal factory do Cheetos come from?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[82] = "You think that's boring? Look in one of your students' faces next time you're trying to teach them about pre-revolutionary Utah or whatever - that's boredom.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[83] = "Just because my Cheerios have more important things to deal with than Pope Houdini XII doesn't mean that you can put about your nonsense. Jealousy is an ugly thing, Nathaniel.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[84] = "You're on my list.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[85] = "Utah didn't become a state until eighteen ninety-six. And if your Cheerios knew that, maybe I wouldn't have to grade them on a curve.<br><b>-Nathaniel Pierce</b>";

quotes[86] = "You're safe for now. I have bigger fish to fry... with curlier hair...<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[87] = "I somehow don't think that 'siren screech' is what we're going for here... And I would go easy on the dye job, it's clearly pickled your brain.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[88] = "You think I'm being hard on you now? There's a little brown boy in a dusty country somewhere eating dirt. That's hard.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[89] = "While I may be an only child, my god awful aunt Margret seems to pop out babies more often than Sue makes snarky comments.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[90] = "Unless you're that god awful, closet case Edward Cullen, youth is short and you should enjoy it while you can.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[91] = "I only dance good because I dont want Danielle LeClair's freaking stiletto up my ass.<br><b>-Anthony Timoleon</b>";

quotes[92] = "I always take care of my girls and if you make a snide comment about that, I am not above getting Mercedes to beat your ass until no girl wants to look at it.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[93] = "I'm not allowed to live within a twenty-mile radius of a power station. Otherwise, boom. Nuclear. Meltdown.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[94] = "This day will come back to you in years to come when you're sipping mojitos on your balconies in the Bahamas. Because this is the day that you bring down Glee and put the glory back where it belongs: the Cheerios. Now take aim.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[95] = "You're expecting me to towel-dry my hair, change my costume and be in the right frame of mind in ten minutes? And refrain from licking this delicious peach with a hint of mango slushie off my arms because that would waste time?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[96] = "Mercedes, my hair curlers and hair dryer, quickly!<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[97] = "Oh my god! You are not touching my hair with that...<i>truncheon!</i> It's going to burn me! KURT! It's <i>smoking!</i> What if it catches on fire?<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[98] = "Get your white ass in that chair and let Kurt finish your hair, damn it.<br><b>-Mercedes Jones</b>";

quotes[99] = "If you start singing about this, I swear to god, I will drop kick you with my Gucci boots.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[100] = "Alright, you’re done, go put your pants on and for the love of god, calm down!<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[101] = "I don't get how a <i>baseball bat</i> is going to help my hair, or how the fact that I'm from Akron, in <i>O-'same state as you'-hio</i>, is going to affect my irrational fear of my hair catching on fire!<br><b>-Jesse St.James</b>";

quotes[102] = "With the amount of times they've thrown me in the garbage before, I'm lucky I don't permanently smell of school dinners and half eaten bananas.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[103] = "Glad you could make it. If you can, try and throw things at Vocal Adrenaline while they perform. With any luck some will land in their faces.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[104] = "Yeah, it was quite the show, especially when she went all crazy ex-wife on us and used our piano as practice for squashing small children.<br><b>-Leo Matthews</b>";

quotes[105] = "Oh, and don't worry about Rachel... I never take her seriously, anyway.<br><b>-Santana Lopez</b>";

quotes[106] = "I know that now I have seen you committing your terrible, terrible crimes, you probably have to kill me.<br><b>-Tabatha Monroe</b>";

quotes[107] = "Who knew that guys from Vocal Adrenaline could be so smokin'.<br><b>-Brittany</b>";

quotes[108] = "Dude... I appreciate what you're saying but we just finished singing show tunes and I'm dressed like one of the village people. This is kind of making me uncomfortable.<br><b>-Noah Puckerman</b>";

quotes[109] = "I honestly thought you joining New Directions would be the worst thing since Whitney Houston decided she could still sing live.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[110] = "Any luck with what I taught ya? Gotta watch those candles!<br><b>-April Rhodes</b>";

quotes[111] = "So, did those years of college teach you how to sing or are you still shaking your toosh and leaning towards the judges to get those bonus points?<br><b>-April Rhodes</b>";

quotes[112] = "The best thing I had was Buddy Liebowitz. He just croaked and I got two mil. What a world!<br><b>-April Rhodes</b>";

quotes[113] = "Well, aren't you a little treasure?<br><b>-Shelby Corcoran</b>";

quotes[114] = "Tabatha Monroe, star of Aural Intensity, but then I'm sure you already know that.<br><b>-Tabatha Monroe</b>";

quotes[115] = "Yeah, UFOs usually aren't very nice.<br><b>-Brittany</b>";

quotes[116] = "I can't tell whether I'm looking at a bunch of cheerleaders or a posse of well-trained apes.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[117] = "Rox, you need to teach your girls about personal hygiene... and find a razor yourself - I'm being blinded from the platinum reflection off your upper lip right now.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[118] = "Ima call a truce just for tonight because if I actually punch you, I'm pretty sure Berry will lock me up in her basement and go all 'Saw III' on my ass.<br><b>-Matt Rutherford</b>";

quotes[119] = "Man, I love these. It's a shame the flavoring's made out of like, chemicals and the dust from behind peoples couches.<br><b>-Matt Rutherford</b>";

quotes[120] = "I'm going to have Sue in here in no time, William, do you realize that? She has time and time again confronted me with this. Not only this, but the money I am giving to Glee Club could be used to fix the boys' toilets, which have broken. Again!<br><b>-Principal Figgins</b>";

quotes[121] = "Hum.... William.... Hum.... Sue...<br><b>-Principal Figgins</b>";

quotes[122] = "Now stand up and be a wave!<br><b>-Principal Figgins</b>";

quotes[123] = "St. James, seriously? Kurt's acting more badass than you and his scarf cost more than my car.<br><b>-Matt Rutherford</b>";

quotes[124] = "You can't stab it like it's an extra in <i>Psycho</i>. Seriously, weren't you listening?<br><b>-Noah Puckerman</b>";

quotes[125] = "If we can avoid get arrested, we want to do that. We can't perform from jail.<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[126] = "Glitter and feather all you want, man. Make the field look like a Vegas show girl- or a really bad show choir costume.<br><b>-Bobby Rydell</b>";

quotes[127] = "There's no need to be rude about another person's tastes, just because she doesn't like to be more fluffed up than a poodle in a rainforest.<br><b>-Tabatha Monroe</b>";

quotes[128] = "For future reference, you may want to lay off the pink, purple and red color scheme, it makes you look like a bruise.<br><b>-Izzy Santiago</b>";

quotes[129] = "All set William! The Glee Club is climbing its way up my popularity ladder. Keep at it, and you may just pass the Bee Gees.<br><b>-Principal Figgins</b>";

quotes[130] = "I'd like to see Ricky Martin go against these kids - they match his voice and his dance moves!<br><b>-Principal Figgins</b>";

quotes[131] = "I swear if you tell, I'll throw you in the dumpster filled with slushees and the cafeteria's meatloaf surprise.<br><b>-Noah Puckerman</b>";

quotes[132] = "Ground base to Double '0' Fabulous here, I have Barbie Blonde in sight, moving in for closer inspection.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[133] = "Let me go! I need to go kick the brute's face in! For the honor of New Directions and the rebellion against radical show choirs everywhere!<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[134] = "You better hold me back, Mr. Schue, before Dorothy here goes somewhere over the rainbow!<br><b>-Santana Lopez</b>";

quotes[135] = "Considering you've opened your legs for just about anything that has some social standing in this school, don't you think you're a little bit of a hypocrite to be calling anyone trash, my dear?<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[136] = "If I so much as see 'berry', regardless of whether it has 'straw' or 'rasp' in front of it, I'm going to get some piranhas and let them loose on your face.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[137] = "If I were a lesbian, I'd probably forgive you.<br><b>-Jesse St. James</b>";

quotes[138] = "You know I have the power to reject reporters based on their hairstyles? Anyone with a hint of a curl gets binned... I wouldn't like to throw up on camera because they'd given me flashbacks of Schuester here.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[139] = "As Jennifer Aniston said when she found out Angelina had taken Brad from her... this means war.<br><b>-Kurt Hummel</b>";

quotes[140] = "It looks like you'd just about take flight in a gust of wind with all that extra skin flappin' around.<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";

quotes[141] = "Has Schuester had you on a diet of gummy bears and false hope in time for Regionals?<br><b>-Sue Sylvester</b>";



//calculate a random index
index = Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length);
//display the quotation
document.write("\n");
document.write(quotes[index]);
//done